Name Shella | Date Sunday 1 March 09, 14:19PM
Shella Smith

You may well be wondering what happened to last week’s blog.  It’s not that we’ve lost enthusiasm, it’s just that the last blog all about Lace from Selfridges was such a mammoth one that we decided to leave it up for 2 weeks.  We’ve had a recent update from Lace, who’s still on the case trying to find Matt a waistcoat to match his suit.  Apparently his mate Shark from Savile Row is on the case now – let’s just hope he’s not one or Best man Jon's fears of them turning up at the wedding looking like Crockett and Tubbs might just come true!

Every womans dream - two Matts

Every woman's dream - two Matts


Also we’ve spent the last two weeks cutting out images of ourselves ready for the invitations.  Seriously, we are both suffering from RSI in our wrists – Repetitive Scissor Injury.  So when you get yours, please take the time to appreciate the love and devotion that’s gone into creating these little masterpieces!   We almost created a ‘civil partnership’ version of the invite when Matt accidentally stuck two cut-outs of himself next to each other.  We weren’t sure who would appreciate this version but it nearly went to Usher Ashley and Guy who are house sharing at the moment. 

By the way, we’re sending the invites out in batches so not everyone has received theirs yet.  We’ve already managed to upset Matt’s mum as she hasn’t received hers when the rest of her family have – oops!!  Remember – you can reply online if you prefer, which saves you the cost of a stamp and having to think of something polite to write to my mum and dad, so we’re waiting with baited breath for your responses to arrive.   We’ve only received two replies so far – thanks very much Andy, Shelby, Sarah and Andi who will definitely be attending – looks like it might just be the six of us so far!  Don’t forget though that the online replies still go to my mum and dad so please don’t write anything too cheeky.  Although I have to mention that when we were testing the form we had confirmation that Joey Deacon and his mate Ernie will be attending the wedding – and that was from my mum. 

Matt before the steroids

Matt before the steroids


Joey is a legend in our house and we’d love to meet him if he was still around.  In fact, anything to do with the 80’s is ‘wicked and skill’, according to Matt.  He was most disappointed last week when he watched the Oscars as he just can’t understand why ‘Breakdance 2: – Electric Boogaloo’ still hasn’t been given the recognition it deserves.  He’s also loving the current 80’s fashion revival and has been trying to convince me to buy a stone washed denim jump-suit and fluorescent socks.   Matt has also been looking in the garage for his old Pepe jeans, complete with blue key-ring, to go with the Kickers he bought last week.  In reality, Matt wasn’t the most fashionable kid in the 80’s.  You’ve only got to look at the pictures in the Gallery to see this for yourself – check out the marvellous perm he’s sporting in the picture of him pumping iron from 1985 (although judging by his scrawny little body it was probably hollow plastic he was lifting).

I’ve been thinking about the 80’s quite a bit recently as one of my mates is trying to organise a school reunion for my year.  Matt went to his school reunion about two years ago which was held at Kings School.  He said he couldn’t believe how small the assembly hall looked– I guess it’s the same principle as Wagon Wheels which always seem much smaller now but really it’s just that your hands are bigger. He told me he was very relieved to see that the toilet doors had been screwed back on.  Apparently all the toilet doors were removed at Kings School after someone did a poo on the toilet seat and left it there – the cubicle doors were removed as punishment because no one would own up to being the phantom pooper during school assembly – which was not good for a five-a-day man like Matt. 

They also have proper toilet roll in schools now, not the tracing paper stuff we had with ‘Hampshire County Council – now wash your hands’ written on every sheet.  Matt swears that stuff gave him anal fissures – kids these days just don’t know lucky they are.

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