Leaky nipples and Vaseline
Name Shella | Date Sunday 18 Jan 09, 20:04PM
Shella Smith

Last week's blog caused what can only be described as 'Storey-gate', i.e. a number of complaints that some of the coincidences we mentioned might have been clutching at straws a little. Some people have said that we went too far by saying that just because someone supports a football team in the same league, that isn't really a big coincidence.

Ok, so maybe a few of them were a bit far-fetched, but most of the coincidences made for a darn good read, and it is still amazing that two Matthew Storey's are getting married on 4th July 2009.

At least all this has given us something to think about whilst we train for the London Marathon. Yes, even as we write, we're debating whether or not to go for a quick 3 miler (I want to go, Matthew's a bit more reluctant because he says he's tired after playing footie yesterday. But he only played 45 minutes before being subbed - best not mention that though).

Matt 'Vassing up' before last years London Marathon

Matt 'Vassing up' before last years London Marathon

Whenever we go running, we try to take our minds off the pain/freezing weather/rain etc by recalling stories from previous times when we've run the marathon. Matthew recalls how he overtook Frank Bruno after about 12 miles on one occasion, who appeared to be doing the moon-walk and looked like he was running through treacle at the time. Matthew patted him on the back and said "Come on Frank". Fortunately Frank had hit the wall by this stage, otherwise Frank might've hit Matt.

We've actually seen quite a few celebrities whilst running previous marathons. Matt saw Floella Benjamin whilst watching me run in 2003. I'm rather gutted I didn't see her as I'd like to find out if Big Ted and Hamble are still going strong. And I saw Gordon Ramsay last year whilst watching Matt. Everyone was shouting the F word at him, which I guess he does ask for. We're wondering if Jimmy Savile still runs the marathon every year as it would be great to see him. Incidentally, several people think that Matt shares more than a passing resemblance to Jim - what do you think?

Sir Jimmy Savile - The last living legend on the planet

Sir Jimmy Savile - The last living legend on the planet

Apart from the celebrities and the great scenery (Tower Hamlets...lovely), there's plenty of other sites to occupy your mind whilst running or spectating at the marathon. I saw one fella dressed only in a Borat style mankini last year - he was waving at the crowds and lapping up the attention when I first saw him at 7 miles. I saw him again at 24 miles though and I think he was regretting his choice of costume by then - he'd lost all sense of dignity with all his bits and pieces hanging out and really looked in need of some vaseline on the thong bit up his backside. One of my favourite games is to count how many runners I can overtake who are suffering with joggers nipple. Or count the number of people dressed as super-heros. I dressed up as Wonder Woman when I ran, and at one stage I was running with Batman and Robin. Some of the costumes are amazing and it's incredible that people can run so far wearing them - I was absolutely gutted when I was overtaken by a bloke dressed as a giant cigarette whilst sprinting to the finish up the Mall. I've always wondered how people train in their costumes - I mean it's one thing dressing up on the day but how do you test out your giant caterpillar costume whilst running through your local village?

If you ever need the loo whilst running the marathon, it's safer to avoid the portaloos if possible - nervous tummies do horrible things inside those blue plastic boxes (I've seen the results in a pair of discarded underpants on the one occasion I used the loo). Most of the women do a 'Paula Radcliffe' and just wee in the road - Matt loves this as there's always a chance he'll get a cheeky look. Still, no time for watersports when you're running 26 miles.

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