Happy Campers
NameShella | Date Sunday 7 June 09, 20:41PM
Shella Smith

Don't go without pulling your trousers down first! - Mum tests out the new john in the caravan

Don't go without pulling your trousers down first!
Mum tests out the new john in the caravan


So there's less than 4 weeks to go now until the wedding and we had our final meeting with Jill the vicar this week.  Luckily Matthew managed to remember to have a wee before going in this time but we did have to contend with Darcy again, the friendliest dog in the world.  The purpose of seeing Jill this time was to practice saying our vows and run through the service.  I never realised how complicated it was going to be  - face the front, face each other, stand up, sit down, hold hands, loose hands, hold hands with my dad, swap hands with Matthew, kneel down...  I'm never going to remember all this!  And all the time we're practising, Darcy's either sniffing Matt's nether regions, licking my leg or chewing the coffee table.   Matt then watched in horror as Darcy actually started humping  his bed but luckily I was looking at Jill at that time, otherwise a fit of inappropriate and uncontrollable giggling might've followed. The vicar also instructed Matthew that he must arrive at the church by 1pm on the wedding day.  This is slightly worrying as anyone who knows Matt will know that punctuality is not his strong point. I just hope the church has a toilet. 

We have also been very impressed by the efforts that many of our friends and family have been making to prepare for our wedding.  Usher Ashley has already told you about the extreme physical training that most of the stags have been undergoing to prepare for the Superstars contest in his guest blog.   The Electric Boogaloo costume preparations have been even more intense - I’m really impressed that they’ve all embraced the luminous leg warmer and crop top theme with such enthusiasm!  

Lace has a stalker! - 
Matt enlists the help of The Special One...again

Lace has a stalker!
Matt enlists the help of The Special One...again


We've also been told that some of our friends have bought tents especially so that they can camp in the field overnight.  My mum and dad have even bought a caravan that they're bringing up to the field, much to the disgust of my sister who is expecting to see them selling the Big Issue with a dog on a string next time she visits Winchester.  I bet she'll want to use their shower on Sunday morning though!  Don’t forget, you're all very welcome to camp too, but it might be worth doing your ‘erecting’ on Friday or Saturday morning as it won't be much fun at 2am in the dark after a few too many shandies.

This time next weekend I’ll be on my hen do in Newquay.  I have absolutely no idea what the plans are as it’s all been organised with military precision by my Chief Bridesmaid, Kelly.  Hopefully my friend Sharon will be off crutches by then after tripping over a brolley stand in the March Hare (she claims that she hadn’t even had a drink when it happened).   Although the crutches might come in quite handy if we get any unwanted attention in the Sailors nightclub on Saturday night.   I’ll definitely be writing a blog to fill you in, with embarrassing photos to match. 

Matthew’s stag do is only just over a week away now too.  Unfortunately one of the stags has not been so good with his preparations, namely Robbie Shearman, who has only just realised that his passport has expired.  Matthew went with him on Saturday for a special trip to the passport office in Victoria, London.  There was also a reunion with Lace in Selfridges along the way as Matt was looking for a new pair of jeans.  Sadly for Robbie, there was something wrong with the lamination on his out-of-date passport so would you believe he’s got to go back again next week.  If he can’t get it sorted in time I might just take his place as an honorary stag.   Now where did I put that tight pink crop top....?


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